Cupola Care
My baby spent a month in NICU in 2017 when he was born 32 weeks into my pregnancy. They called me a geriatric mother because I was an older mum.
‘You Come From’ – written and read by Cupola Care
After the birth of my baby I was still not really able to work out what was going on, because of the drugs, I think, and because I was sort of trying to work everything out.
‘What I Really Want to Say is’ – written and read by Cupola Care
I was just sat in front of him just not able to really understand what was happening. I mean obviously I could see what was happening, I could see him, but obviously he was in a little plastic box … it was amazing to see him. But I did feel, like, this really, like, a real serious sense of separation, because I was just…I wasn’t even in my own body, I wasn’t even in my own being, to be able to understand
My Friend, the Blue Chair
I found myself in a room on the blue chair on my own, just pumping for hours on end with really sore boobs… the blue chair, I seemed to, like, it became a little bit like my friend in the end, I felt like I was sort of almost having conversations in my head with the blue chair. Because, you know, they can’t answer back and they’re not giving you any hassle, and they’re not expecting you to do anything
‘I am Here’ – written and read by Cupola Care
He’s outside my body now, obviously we’re still very close because I’ve got him, like, here, and we’ve got this kind of connection still, which is here. But to me it still felt like we were physically connected. I know we weren’t still with the placenta or whatever, but that’s how it felt, because that…they’re like a piece of you, aren’t they, they’re like, it’s like your hand, or your foot, or your arm, it’s like a piece of your own body.
‘Winter in NICU’ – written and read by Cupola Care
Sound attributions:
Gas lantern ‘Gas Lantern Lit + Loop’ by TaXMaNFoReVeR (https://freesound.org/people/TaXMaNFoReVeR/sounds/325421/) licensed under CCBYNC 3.0; ‘St John Cathedral female choir 001’ by klankbeeld 01 (https://freesound.org/people/klankbeeld/sounds/398218/) licenced under CCBYNC 4.0